The Surrogacy Process, Step by Step (and Who Does What)
Written by Sydney Brickey, founder of WeFertility
Last updated: October 14, 2026
Gestational surrogacy usually takes about 12 to 18 months from your first consultation to birth. It moves through screening, matching, legal agreements, IVF, and pregnancy, with an agency, a surrogate, a clinic, and attorneys all playing a part.
Why we're writing about surrogacy
We didn't go through surrogacy ourselves. But using a known donor gave us a small taste of it: a legal agreement, required counseling for all of us, and a third person with appointments and steps of their own. Surrogacy is that, with even more people involved and even more riding on every step happening in the right order.
What are the steps of surrogacy?
- Choose your path: In gestational surrogacy, embryos are created through IVF, and the surrogate carries a pregnancy they aren't genetically related to. Decide whether to work with an agency or match independently.
- Get evaluated: Intended parents typically need a medical evaluation, required infectious disease screening, and counseling with a mental health professional.
- Match with a surrogate: Surrogates go through a full medical evaluation and psychological counseling, along with their partner or support person. Ideally, they're 21 to 45 and have had at least one uncomplicated pregnancy.
- Sign the legal agreement: Each side has its own attorney. The signed agreement comes before any treatment and covers parentage, medical decisions, expenses, and escrow.
- Fund escrow: The money that pays your surrogate's compensation and expenses is set aside.
- IVF and embryo transfer: Your clinic creates or thaws embryos and transfers them. Transferring a single embryo is strongly recommended.
- Pregnancy: Your surrogate gets prenatal care, and compensation and reimbursements are paid out as agreed.
- Establish parentage: Depending on your state, your attorney gets a pre-birth or post-birth order recognizing you as the legal parents.
Who does what in surrogacy?
| Who | What they handle |
|---|---|
| Intended parents | Funding, decisions, their own screening and counseling, and staying on top of every step |
| Surrogate | Screening, counseling, appointments, the transfer, and the pregnancy |
| Agency | Matching, coordination, and guidance, if you use one |
| Two attorneys | One for you and one for your surrogate, for the agreement and parentage |
| Fertility clinic | Screening, IVF, and the embryo transfer |
| Mental health professional | Counseling for you and your surrogate |
| Escrow | Holding and paying out funds as agreed |
Surrogacy laws vary by state, so work with professionals who know yours.
How does WeFertility help with surrogacy?
Invite your surrogate and coordinate next steps together. Assign screenings, appointments, and signatures to the right person, and stay in the know about what they're doing without texting for updates. You choose exactly what they see.
Order matters in surrogacy. The embryo transfer can't happen until the agreement is signed. In WeFertility, a step that's waiting on another one stays marked as blocked, so you can see what's holding things up. Attach your agreement, clearance letter, and escrow records to the steps they belong to, and track every payment and reimbursement as it's due.
Learn more
Frequently asked questions
How long does surrogacy take?
Usually about 12 to 18 months from your first consultation to birth, depending on how long matching, legal work, and IVF take.
Who can be a gestational surrogate?
The American Society for Reproductive Medicine recommends surrogates ideally be 21 to 45, have had at least one uncomplicated pregnancy, have strong support at home, and pass medical and psychological evaluations.
Do you need a lawyer for surrogacy?
Yes. Each side should have its own attorney licensed in the state, and the agreement should be signed before any treatment begins.
This is our experience, not medical, legal, or financial advice. Talk to your agency, clinic, attorney, or tax professional.
How WeFertility helps
WeFertility remembers, so you don't have to: every step, every signature, every payment, and every person on your team. Try it free for 30 days, then it's less than a coffee a month. Download WeFertility on the App Store.
Planning the money side? Read how much surrogacy costs.
About the author
Sydney Brickey is the founder of WeFertility. She and her wife, Gina, went through IUI and IVF with a known donor and built WeFertility to make the process easier for other families. Read our story.